White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
