i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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