Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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