i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
