It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
