I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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