HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize