Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
