Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Less talking, more tequila
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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