i don't like sucking hair
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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