There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize