who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
