i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
