Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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