fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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