I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize