what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
