I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
