The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
