I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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