bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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