wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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