erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
