Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Found the puke drawer
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
