Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
