my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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