i may or may not be watching the land before time
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize