For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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