I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
