Since when is my name a synonym for head?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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