Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
