So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
