would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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