is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
