Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
