I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
i now understand why vodka
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
