Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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