clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize