that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
