I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
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