so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Is it penis luge time yet?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
