Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
