Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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