i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
