Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
