So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
