Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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