One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
NoShamevember. You game?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
