My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
