You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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