The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
