Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
