Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Best friends brother. Beat that.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Randomize
