y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
