i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
