i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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