How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
