I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
