So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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