is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
