I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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