How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize