I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
