I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
