i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
