forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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