"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
