Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize