She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
