i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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