I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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