So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
