Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Duck Duck Cougar?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
