When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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